For some, this may seem to be an odd question based on morals from a bygone era. Many couples have live together before marriage and some seem to have turned out okay. Is it really necessary to get married before living together? While there may be convincing arguments for living together before marriage, perhaps it would be good to consider what God says about the subject. Thankfully, He makes His answer clear.
- Living together is God’s plan for marriage togetherness (Gen. 2:24).
From the beginning, God had a wonderful plan for Adam and Eve. They were the first married couple. They enjoyed living together in the garden for a time after God first created them. After describing their relationship, God made it clear that marriage involved a man leaving his parents for a new and committed relationship with one woman. As husband and wife, they would unite and become one flesh. And that involved leaving their parents and living together. - Living together is for married couples (1 Pet. 3:7).
There are some who believe that the Bible is silent about living together before marriage. But notice what the apostle Peter says in this verse. Husbands are to live with their wives with understanding. While the main thought in the passage is the thoughtfulness required for a successful marriage, it is understood that a husband and wife are expected to be living together. While thoughtfulness, love, submission, leadership, and commitment are required to make it work, it is a husband and wife who are expected to live together not an unmarried couple. - Living together allows for sexual intimacy (Heb. 13:4; 1 Cor. 7:9; Rom. 13:14).
God honors sexual intimacy in marriage. In fact, he designed the desires and pleasures men and women experience to be honorably satisfied in a loving marriage. The Song of Solomon is evidence of that. However, God designed this intimacy only for a couple to experience when married. Any sexual activity outside of marriage will be judged by God. To avoid the temptation for fornication, the Bible gives two options: exercise self-control (make no provision for temptation) or get married. Living together before marriage increases the possibility of falling into temptation and sinning against God. It would be better to follow God’s plan.
Do you see God’s answer to the question? God has a definite plan about “living together.” With our best interest in mind, He has reserved living together for a man and a woman in a committed marriage relationship. This means that living together before marriage is not appropriate for a Christian. When God’s plan is respected, a man and woman will wait until they are married before living together and becoming intimately involved. While it may be difficult to wait and may seem a bit odd to the rest of the world, there are many blessings given to those who choose to wait to live together until they are married.