Have you ever faced a difficult situation at work? It seems like the other person is constantly looking for ways to make your day miserable. He laughs at your mistakes, discounts your opinions, and seems to always get in the way when you are trying to get things done. I would imagine that all of us have faced difficult relationships at work. And we have also seen these conflicts between others at work. What should a Christian do? Thankfully, the Bible is filled with good advice about handling conflict. Let’s take a look at what God says.
- Try to be a peace maker.
Our goal is to be like God (Matt. 5:9).
Jesus told His disciples that if they were peacemakers, they would be known as sons of God. How is that? Well, if you think about what God did for sinful humanity, it will make more sense. Despite our sinfulness against God, He chose to offer peace through the death of Jesus on the cross. When Christians try to make peace with others, they are following in the footsteps of their heavenly Father.
Our goal is a peaceful life (Rom. 12:18).
Paul tells us that we should do what we can to try to be at peace with all people whenever possible. We all know that it is not always possible to live peacefully with other people. But it is often possible when you do your part. When facing conflict with others, do what you can to alleviate the tension. Seek to be a part of the solution instead of part of the problem.
When you realize that God wants you to be a peacemaker, it makes a difference in your attitude. When you realize that you have to put in some effort yourself, it also keeps you from a bad attitude that will definitely hinder peace. - Be a good listener.
Listen before exploding (James 1:19).
James earlier tells us to be joyful during trials because the testing of our faith will yield patience. Patience is just the thing we need when facing conflict with someone at work. So, how do we keep from exploding in a fit of anger when conflict takes place? We must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to becoming angry. This means that we must listen more than we speak. And as we listen, we may find out a few things that we didn’t already know. And we will be less likely to react in an angry way when we understand more of the situation.
Listen before judging (Prov. 18:13).
But what if you didn’t follow James’ advice and you blurted out some angry response to the other person without hearing the whole story? Solomon says that would have something to be ashamed of. The truth is that everyone’s story seems right until you hear both sides. But if you take the time to listen before judging, you will have more information before you make a decision. The amount spent listening to both sides of the issue will keep you from making a fool of yourself.
When you are quicker to listen than to speak, you will be less likely to explode in anger. And if you wait to hear all the facts before judging those involved, you will keep from making a decision you will later regret. So, take the time to listen as you seek to make peace. - Discover the root of the problem.
Recognize your own faults (Luke 6:41-42).
As you are looking for the root of the problem, it can be easy to ignore your own faults. But that will only make matters worse. Jesus likened it to someone having a plank in his eye and then pointing out a speck in the other person’s eye. If you have a glaring problem in your own life, it is better to fix it before confronting someone about something much less important. So, in any conflict, be sure that you have addressed your own inadequacies before attempting to point out problems in someone else’s life.
Recognize the effects of selfishness (James 4:1-2).
It may surprise you to find out that Christians were fighting in the church. Sadly, this has happened on more than one occasion. James, however, addressed the root issue of these problems. The Christians were allowing their sinful desires for pleasures, lusts, and things to create conflict between them. How bad did it get? It got to the point that some were murdering people? That is a serious problem. But where did it begin? It began with selfish people who only wanted what was best for themselves. If you only think about yourself, it will usually lead to conflict.
When you recognize your own faults, you will be less likely to confront others about their own. But when someone else’ selfishness begins to drive a wedge between people, it needs to be addressed sooner than later. That driving desire can lead to serious problems at work. - Offer the best solution (Rom. 14:19).
How can I create peace?
When dealing with conflict, it is tempting to keep the peace instead of making peace. You might be able to move people to a different department, but the animosity won’t disappear. How can you create peace? This can only be done when the root issue is discovered and dealt with. Listening and working with the other person is helpful. And hopefully, the conflict can be resolved. However, there are times when peace may not be possible. Just be sure you are the one trying to make peace.
How can I build up others?
If you are trying to make peace with another person, it helps if you are genuinely interested in helping them. When Paul tells us to pursue what will build up the other person, he isn’t suggesting that we pretend to care. He is telling us to truly seek the best for other people. That includes the person you are having a conflict with. This may not be easy at first, but as you pray for God’s help and seek to help the other person, you may find that your attitude toward the other person has changed.
When you want to create a peaceful relationship at work, it makes a big difference in your own attitude. When you are actively trying to help the other person, your bad attitude will eventually melt away. Not all conflicts can be resolved. But you can do your part by following the advice God has given in the Bible.
Conclusion
Have you ever noticed how different people are? Differing personalities, upbringing, opinions, and preferred ways of doing things can create a wedge in the work environment. Being a Christian can also lead to conflict when others don’t appreciate your way of life. Just remember, when you face these differences, that God is the author of peace and wants His children to seek peace whenever possible. Make sure that you keep a good attitude by praying for God’s help and seeking to build up the people you work with.