Marriage is a wonderful thing. When a man and woman love each other and commit to each other till death due them part, there is something special. And when a Christian man and a Christian woman commit to each other, there is an even greater possibility for a great marriage. As they both seek the Lord and try to honor Him with their marriage, God will bless them and use them in the lives of others. However, there are some marriages that don’t have this kind of togetherness because one of the partners is not a Christian. Despite the loving relationship, there is something missing because they are not united when it comes to faith in Jesus, how to bring up the family, and what to focus on. So, what happens if you are married to an unbeliever? Let’s take a look at what the Bible says about it.
- What does it say? (Gen. 41:45-52)
After Pharaoh chose Joseph to be the second in command under him in Egypt, he was given the name Zaphnath-Paaneah which means “the God speaks and he lives.”1 The Pharaoh also gave him a wife whose name was Asenath, the daughter of Potiphera priest of On. He then traveled throughout the whole land of Egypt. When he stood before Pharaoh, he was thirty years old and he left Pharaoh’s presence to go through the land of Egypt. The ground produced abundantly during the seven plentiful years. So, he gathered up all the food in the land of Egypt during the seven years and stored it in the cities. He collected so much grain that it was like the sand of the sea, and it was beyond his ability to count. Before the famine started, his wife Asenath, the daughter of the priest of On, bore him two sons. Joseph called the first one Manasseh because God had caused him to forget his trouble and his family. He called the second one Ephraim because God had caused him to be fruitful in the land where he had been miserable. - What does it mean?
If you are not familiar with Joseph’s story, I encourage you to read Genesis 37-47. It is the remarkable account of God’s care for Joseph despite family dysfunction, slavery, temptation, and imprisonment. In this particular chapter, Joseph was brought out of prison to interpret Pharaoh’s two dreams. After hearing the dreams, God enabled Joseph to interpret them and warn the Pharaoh about the future famine. When the Pharaoh understood the meaning of the dream and saw the wisdom given to Joseph by God, he decided to put Joseph in command of Egypt. His task was to prepare the country for the coming famine. In addition to his new position, Pharaoh honored him with a gold chain, fine clothing, and a wife from a prestigious family.
Joseph was given a wife by Pharaoh (Gen. 41:45).
The Egyptian Pharaoh was very impressed by Joseph. He honored him by making him the second in command over Egypt and gave him many gifts. But one of the biggest gifts was his marriage into a prestigious family. Pharaoh gave him a wife named Asenath. She was the daughter of Poti-Pherah, the priest of On. From what I have read, the Egyptian priests were the high-class people of their day. So, Pharaoh was honoring Joseph by elevating him to the upper class in that society. Those who may have doubted his background would be awed by the fact that he was married into a noble family.
But did you notice something about his marriage? Joseph didn’t meet Asenath, fall in love, and ask her father for permission to marry her. Neither was her father the one who gave her to Joseph for a wife. It was Pharaoh who gave Asenath to Joseph. This was an arranged marriage based on what Pharaoh wanted to happen. Joseph, Asenath, and her family had no say in the matter. The marriage, while a special gift, was pre-arranged by the ruler of Egypt and was seen as a high honor for the new second-in-command of Egypt.
Joseph was married to an unbeliever (Gen. 41:45).
If Joseph was still at home, his father probably would have made a different choice. Abraham had sent his servant back to his homeland to find a wife for Isaac. Isaac had sent Jacob to the homeland for a wife. But things were different for Joseph. For the last thirteen years, he had been a slave and a prisoner in Egypt. His father was not there to guide him toward finding a godly wife. As a result, Joseph found himself married to a woman who was not a believer in the one true God. This fact seems to be shown by the names of his wife and her father. One Bible commentator says that “Asenath and Potiphera are recognizably Egyptian names, meaning respectively ‘She belongs (or, May she belong) to Neith’ (a goddess), and ‘He whom Re has given’. Re was the sun god, worshiped at On, a city which the Greeks later called Heliopolis, city of the sun.”2
Nothing else is written about Joseph’s wife and father-in-law besides their names and their position in society. She may have been a woman of good character. Her father may have been a wise man. But if their names say anything about their religious beliefs, they were not believers in the one, true God. And that would have created a conflict in the marriage of Joseph and Asenath. Joseph had previously shown his faith in the Lord (Gen. 39:8-9; 40:8; 41:16, 25). But Asenath and her father were followers of false gods. This difference of beliefs would have led to conflict in their marriage and in their future family if Asenath continued her belief in her false gods. Despite the happiness of their union as man and wife, this would be something that had to be addressed at some point.
Joseph had children with an unbelieving wife (Gen. 41:50-52).
While Joseph was working as the Pharaoh’s vice-regent, he collected large amounts of food and saved them for the future. As God had revealed in Pharaoh’s dream, the first seven years were incredibly fruitful, and the fields produced more than enough for their daily needs. Joseph wisely set aside large portions of grain for the coming seven years of famine. But he and Asenath also were fruitful. During the years of plenty, they had two sons. Joseph named the first son Manasseh which means “cause to forget.” Manasseh’s birth had caused him to forget the misery he had endured and his distance from his family. Joseph named the second son Ephraim which means “fruitful.” Ephraim’s birth caused him to thank God for making him fruitful in the land where he had been afflicted.
The names given by Joseph reveal that his marriage to an unbelieving wife had not hindered him from continuing to believe in God. The same faith that had flourished in affliction was now flourishing in prosperity. Joseph had gone through some very difficult times. Imagine what it must have been like to be sold into slavery by your own brothers and to be falsely accused and imprisoned. These events could have caused him to doubt God’s faithfulness, but instead he continued to trust Him. Thankfully, Joseph’s faith in God did not waver after he married Asenath. He continued to see God’s hand at work in his life and shared that with his wife (at the least) by the names he gave to their children. - How does it apply?
Is it okay for a Christian to marry an unbeliever?
As we have seen in other passages, Abraham and Isaac thought it was important who their sons married. Both Abraham and Isaac were particular about whom their sons would marry. And when Esau married Canaanite women, his parents were grieved (Gen. 26:34; 27:46; 36:1-3). Why was that? It was probably because of the ungodly influence of these women. Having an ungodly, unbelieving wife could influence a believer and his children away from the Lord. However, Joseph was a different story. He wasn’t given a choice about whom he would marry. So, he did what he could with what he was given. I have no doubt that he would have made a different choice, if the choice had been his own. Why? He would have chosen a godly wife because he was a godly person himself.
Think about this for a moment. How important is the choice of whom you will date and eventually marry? If you are a Christian, it is very important. As a Christian, your goal is to love the Lord with your whole heart, soul, and mind. At least that should be your goal. If you date someone who is good looking and fun to be with, you could fall in love and eventually decide to get married. But if they are not a Christian, what will your future life together be like? It will be a constant conflict because one of you wants what God wants while the other does not. This is why God specifically says that a widowed woman “is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). God’s design has always been for a Christian man to marry a Christian woman and start a Christian family. Make sure that you seek to follow God’s direction before getting married to the wrong person.
What if a Christian is already married to an unbeliever?
Joseph was put into a situation where he had no choice in the matter. Pharaoh arranged his marriage to an unbelieving wife, and he made the best of the situation. However, pre-arranged marriages are not very common in the United States. Most marriages today are based on the choice of the couple. There are times when a Christian makes the wrong choice, marries an unbeliever, and soon discovers that there are complications. Or it may be that one of the spouses becomes a Christian after being married and as a result there is a struggle between the believer and the unbeliever. What is to be done in such a situation?
In the New Testament, Paul addressed this exact situation (1 Cor. 7:12-16). His advice was not to break up the marriage with an unbeliever, but to stay and try to be a godly influence to the whole family. If the unbelieving spouse is willing to stay, then that is good. Sometimes a believing spouse can be a sanctifying influence on the other spouse and their children. Your changed life and your godly character can display God’s work up close to the other members of your family (1 Pet. 3:1-2). So, don’t give up. Don’t push for a divorce. Live a godly life and seek to be a patient influence on your spouse and family. Who knows if the Lord will use you to turn your family to the Lord?
Conclusion
The life of Joseph is an interesting one. He was a godly man who regularly pointed people to God. But even he struggled with an unequal marriage to an unbelieving wife. The fact is that sometimes life is hard even for Christians. The choices we have made often affect our marriage and family. And when those choices result in an unequal marriage, it can be difficult to know what to do. Before you lose hope, let me encourage you to take your marriage and family to the Lord. He is willing to forgive our sins. He is still working in people’s hearts. He can bring healing to your family. Wherever you find yourself today, turn your focus to the Lord and patiently wait as He works in your life.
Bibliography
Alter, Robert, Genesis Translation and Commentary, New York: Norton, 1996.
Bush, George, Genesis, Unknown: The James Family, n.d.
Griffith Thomas, W. H., Genesis A Devotional Commentary, Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1946, reprint 1976.
Hamilton, Victor P., The Book of Genesis Chapters 18-50, Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995.
Kidner, Derek, Genesis, Downers Grove: Inter-Varsity Press, 1967.
Ross, Allen P., “Genesis” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary Old Testament, USA: SP Publications, 1989.
Footnotes
- Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon as viewed at https://biblehub.com/hebrew/6847.htm on 2/14/2026. ↩︎
- Kidner 197. ↩︎