When that young bride and groom repeat their vows at their wedding ceremony, they are thinking about the many years of happiness they will spend together. After the honeymoon, they enjoy time as a married couple. Then children arrive and they start growing a family. As time goes by, the children grow up and move out to start their own families. The couple begins a new adventure that includes just the two of them and visits with grandchildren. As the years pass, the couple grows older and there is the real possibility that one of them will pass away before the other. When that finally happens, everything changes. Without the companionship of their spouse, there is a feeling of emptiness that never quite goes away. After some time passes, the widowed spouse wonders if marrying again might be an option. But after being faithful to the same person for so many years, it doesn’t seem right. Is it okay to marry again? Thankfully, God gives us some insight about this question in the Bible. Let’s take a look at what it says.
- What does it say?
Abraham took a wife again whose name was Keturah. They had six sons whose names were Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah. Jokshan had two sons whose names were Sheba and Dedan. Dedan had three sons whose names were Asshurim, Letushim, and Leummim. Midian had five sons whose names were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abidah, and Eldaah. All of these were the sons of Keturah. And Abraham gave all that he had to Isaac. But he gave gifts to the sons of the concubines and sent them away to the east away from his son Isaac while he was still living. - What does it mean? (Gen. 25:1-6)
Abraham had lost his first wife (Gen. 23:1-2).
You may have noticed the word again in verse one. Abraham married again. This means that Abraham had been married before and was getting married again. If you look back two chapters, you will find that Abraham’s first wife, Sarah, had died. She was 127 years old. People tended to live longer back then. Abraham purchased a field and the cave of Machpelah in Hebron and buried her there. While the Bible doesn’t mention how Abraham responded, I would imagine that this was difficult for him. It was also difficult for his son Isaac. In Genesis 24:67, we find that he had been grieving the loss of his mother for a while and was finally comforted by his marriage to Rebekah.
Abraham wanted another wife after Sarah’s death (Gen. 25:1-4).
Sometime after the death of Sarah, Abraham chose to remarry. How old was he? Since Abraham was ten years older than Sarah, this would make him at least 137 years old when he remarried. Since he died when he was 175 years old (Gen. 25:7), his second marriage would have taken place in the last 38 years of his life. Whom did he marry? Her name was Keturah. Nothing is known about her besides her name and the children they had together. Her six sons were named Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah. While these names sound strange to us, some of them should sound familiar. The descendants of Midian eventually became a nation called the Midianites. They are mentioned in connection with Joseph (Gen. 37:28), Moses (Ex. 2:15-22; Ex. 18:1-27), Balaam (Num. 22:1-8), and Gideon (Judges 6-7). The only other name that might sound familiar is Shuah who may have been the father of Bildad the Shuhite (Job 2:11). While the other names are not repeated in the Bible, the fact that the descendants of Dedan and Midian are mentioned must have meant something to those who lived closer to that time. Perhaps these men were the heads of other well-known nations.
Abraham loved his new family (Gen. 25:5-6).
Despite the fact that Abraham had an older son named Ishmael, God had chosen Isaac to be the child of promise. Ishmael had been sent away due to the conflict between Sarah and his mother Hagar. And as a result, Isaac became the heir to Abraham’s inheritance and the one to whom God’s promises would be passed down. This is why Abraham gave Isaac all of his possessions. Isaac was the heir who would continue the line of Abraham.
However, Abraham loved all of his sons. For example, think of his relationship with Ishmael. He was his first son by Hagar. When Sarah had a son of her own, she wanted to get rid of Hagar and Ishmael. But Abraham was displeased at his wife’s request (Gen. 21:11) despite the conflict. Why was he displeased? He was displeased because he loved Ishmael just as any good father would. Thankfully, God intervened and instructed Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away because of his plan for both Ishmael and Isaac. It is noteworthy that Ishmael came back years later to mourn Abraham’s death (Gen. 25:9).
Abraham also loved the sons he had with Keturah. He showed his love for them by giving them gifts and sending them eastward. The gifts were probably resources and cattle given to start them on their own new life. And the reason for sending them to the east and away from Isaac was probably to avoid conflict between their families. That had become necessary previously when Abraham and Lot’s herds had become too large to exist in the same country (Gen. 13:5-9). So Abraham showed his love toward his last six sons by setting them up for a profitable future elsewhere. - How does it apply?
Marrying again can provide comfort.
While no mention is made of Abraham’s sorrow at the death of Sarah, he did spend a lot of money to purchase a plot of land and a cave to bury her in. She meant a lot to him. I assume that his love for her caused him to make this substantial purchase in her honor. And if that was so, he also missed her when she was gone. There is mention of Isaac’s need for comfort after Sarah’s death. When Sarah died, Abraham was left with only his son and his servants. Being alone in his tent was probably hard to get used to. So, he chose to marry again. This marriage would have provided the companionship, warmth, and intimacy lost when his wife died.
Losing a spouse is difficult. The person is no longer available to talk to, to hug, and to share life with. Some who have lost a spouse feel that they can never love again. While the grieving process takes time to mend, marrying again is a possibility that should not be overlooked. When addressing this topic, Paul mentioned that a widow is free to marry after her husband dies as long as she marries another Christian (1 Cor. 7:39-40). If you have lost a spouse, it may take a while before you can even think of such an idea. But marrying again can provide the comfort you need.
Marrying again can lead to more opportunities.
When Abraham married Keturah, it opened the door to many opportunities. He had a new relationship with her. He eventually became the father of six more sons. All of this gave him opportunities to minister to a new family. As the father, he had the opportunity to lead his whole family toward serving the Lord. That was one of the reasons God had chosen him in the first place. He knew that Abraham would command his children to obey the Lord (Gen. 18:19). Having more children provided more opportunities for him to lead them to the Lord and to make a difference in other places.
During a long marriage, we develop an exclusive relationship with our spouse. When that person dies, it is difficult to think about starting over with another person. It almost feels like being unfaithful. But we have to remember that marriage is till death do us part. After the death of a spouse, we are free to marry again. And marrying again often provides the opportunity to minister to a new set of people. I have known several widowers who have remarried after the death of their wife. After the grief of losing their wife, they enjoyed getting to know the new family. It gave them not only the happiness of new friendships but the opportunity to minister to them in ways that would not have been possible before.
Marrying again can further God’s plan.
When you think about God’s plan for Abraham, you probably think about His promise to bless the world through the promised Seed—Jesus. It is true that God’s special promise came from Abraham through Isaac’s descendants and not from the other sons. However, God’s plan for Abraham was not limited only to the Israelites. Look back at what God promised Abraham in Genesis 17:1-6. He promised to multiply him exceedingly (17:2) and make him the father of many nations (17:4-6). How was that promise fulfilled? From Abraham’s descendants the Ishmaelites, Edomites, Israelites, Midianites, and several other nations have arisen. God’s plan included many nations who all were taught by godly Abraham to serve the Lord.
One of the natural consequences of losing a spouse is a feeling that your life and happiness has ended. Without that special someone, you feel alone and purposeless. But it doesn’t have to be that way. God’s plan for Abraham was multi-faceted. In the 38 years between Sarah’s death and his own, Abraham continued serving the Lord and pointing his family toward serving Him. If you have lost a spouse, you know how difficult that can be. But as you grieve the loss of your spouse, keep in mind the fact that God still has a plan for you. That may or may not include another marriage. But if it does, think of the many ways that you can use that new marriage to fulfill God’s plan for your life.
Conclusion
Abraham grieved the loss of his wife Sarah. But after a period of mourning, he chose to begin the next chapter of his life with Keturah. God blessed them with six children and several grandchildren. Abraham’s choice to remarry after Sarah’s death was a good one. It brought him comfort, ministry opportunities, and allowed for God’s plan to be fulfilled in his life. As you consider your future (whether you are married or not), allow God to work in your life and to fulfill His purpose in you. Whether you are single, married, or widowed, God has a plan for your life to fulfill. Will you let Him?
Bibliography
Alter, Robert, Genesis Translation and Commentary, New York: Norton, 1996.
Bush, George, Genesis, Unknown: The James Family, n.d.
Hamilton, Victor P., The Book of Genesis Chapters 18-50, Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1995.
Kidner, Derek, Genesis, Downers Grove: Inter-Varsity Press, 1967.
Ross, Allen P., “Genesis” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary Old Testament, USA: SP Publications, 1989.
Footnotes