Why does marriage exist? If you were to ask men and women this question, you would probably get different answers. Men are typically more interested in the physical side while women are more interested in the relationship. Which one is right? While men and women will always see things differently, you might be interested to find out what God says about the subject. In the beginning, God designed marriage to be between a man and a woman for four important reasons. Those reasons are found in Genesis 2:18-25.
- What does it say? (Gen. 2:18-25)
After creating everything, the Lord God noted that it was not good for man to be alone and that He was going to make a helper which would be like him. The Lord God formed every beast of the field and bird of the air out of the ground. He brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each creature, that was its name. Adam gave names to every domesticated animal, flying bird, and animal in the field. But there was no suitable helper found for Adam.
The Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep and God took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh. And the Lord God made the rib which he had taken from Adam into a woman, and He brought her to the man. Then Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And they shall become one flesh. The two of them were naked, Adam and his wife, and they were not ashamed. - What does it mean?
Marriage provides companionship (Gen. 2:18).
God made an important statement about the man whom He had just created. He stated that it was not good for the man to be alone. What did that mean? He meant that it was not good for Adam to be by himself without companionship. Think about that for a minute. Adam lived in a beautiful garden with interesting birds and animals. He could eat fruit from a variety of trees. But he had nobody to share these things with. Sure, he could have had a pet duck or chicken, but he had nobody like him to share life with. He needed companionship. God knew that being alone was not good.
Marriage provides help (Gen. 2:20).
To alleviate the problem, God designed a solution that involved help for Adam. The word help can involve a number of ideas. Someone can help to lift a heavy load. Someone can help by listening to your thoughts. Someone can help by doing part of the work. Someone can help by offering ideas. Someone can help by just being there. God knew that Adam needed that kind of help. Remember that God’s plan for mankind involved filling the earth and subduing it (Gen. 1:28). Adam could not accomplish those things by himself.
Adam’s need for companionship and help was underscored by what he saw in creation. God had miraculously created all the animals and birds from dirt. And when they were paraded in front of Adam, he named each one of them. Imagine the different animals and birds that he saw. He saw the male and female cow, horse, dog, cat, chicken, duck, monkey, snake, and eagle. Each one had its own mate, but there was no female for Adam. Of all the animals and birds created by God, there was no helper that was similar to him. God made it clear that this needed to change.
Marriage provides completion (Gen. 2:23-24).
God’s solution to Adam’s need was interesting. He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. While he slept, God removed part of his side and closed up the gap. He then used this part of the man to create a woman. While you may struggle with accepting this part of the story, consider that it was God who made everything out of nothing. He created man out of the dirt and then made this woman out of Adam’s side. So, this isn’t impossible for the Creator of the universe. When He had finished making the first woman, God brought her to Adam.
Adam’s response is recorded in a poem. He mentioned that she was “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Somehow, he knew that God had removed part of his side to make this woman. So, after naming all the others, he named her woman because she had come from man. But this division from his body to make her was not the end purpose of her creation. In verse 24, Moses stated that this division should eventually lead to unity during marriage. When marriage takes place, a man leaves his parents and is joined with his wife where they are joined together like two puzzle pieces. God knew that this close relationship would complete the man and woman.
Marriage provides intimacy (Gen. 2:24-25).
God knew that Adam needed companionship, help, and completion. But He also provided something special for the first married couple. The gift of physical intimacy in marriage is here referred to as being one flesh, naked, and without shame. The coming together of Adam and Eve was the final act of togetherness. And their continued relationship is described as naked and unashamed. This wedding gift from God included a happy togetherness that is described elsewhere in the Bible as satisfying (Prov. 5:19) and honorable (Heb. 13:4). While not something that we feel comfortable addressing on a regular basis, physical intimacy in marriage is God’s special gift to a man and woman who are married. - How does it apply?
Are you a good companion to your spouse?
God’s original concern was the fact that Adam was alone. From the Creator’s perspective Adam needed companionship. It wasn’t good for him to be alone. God’s solution to this problem was to create a wife for him. And from that day on, the first married people were each other’s companion through the rest of their lives. They were together when Satan tempted them to disobey God’s command. They were together for the birth of their first child. They were together for the death of one of their sons. This companionship was just what these two needed.
As you consider your own marriage relationship, think of what God said about Adam being alone. It wasn’t good. Every good marriage must include companionship. While a good marriage can survive with some time apart, it needs to include a good amount of time together. Being together is what God designed for each married couple to fulfill their need for companionship. So how does this look in a good marriage? Companionship can include going for a walk, talking about the day, praying together, working on projects, shopping together (well maybe not), periodic vacations, and date nights. Think of how you can be a good companion to your spouse.
Are you helpful to your spouse?
God’s original intent for providing a wife for Adam was that he needed a helper that was like him. After looking at all the animals God had created, none of them was a suitable helper for him. But why did God think that Adam needed a helper? There are many single people who have managed life without getting married. Why did God think that Adam needed a helper? The truth is that God created men and women with differences that complement each other. Men tend to be bigger, stronger, and focused on getting jobs done. Women tend to be smaller, softer, and caring. While there are many other differences, these are all designed by God to complement what the other is lacking.
Consider your own marriage. You and your spouse are similar but different. God has designed each of you with strengths and weaknesses that supplement what the other is lacking. While this message is not designed to point out those characteristics, you should think of how you can use your strengths to enhance the relationship and to accomplish God’s will through what each of you has to offer. Work together and combine your strengths to help the other person. Work together to accomplish God’s purposes in your family and church.
Consider also how some things are not helpful. Build up instead of tearing down. Be helpful but not controlling. Offer help but don’t demand. In other words, seek to be a help as much as possible, but be aware of the fact that you are different and may have different ideas about how things should be done.
Are you united with your spouse?
God’s original blessing to the first married couple was physical intimacy. Moses described it as becoming one flesh in verse 24. This coming together provided intimacy that helped them to feel unified with each other. It also provided pleasure and the possibility of having children. But this physical intimacy was meant for more than just pleasure and children. It was designed by God to keep the couple together.
When sin came into the world, it changed a lot of things. Adam and Eve’s relationship was strained when God confronted them about their disobedience. Adam even blamed God for giving him the woman who gave him the fruit! During the years that followed, I would imagine that there were times when they did not feel very united in their relationship. Sin always causes problems. But when these problems were addressed and made right, there was opportunity to make up and enjoy time together.
How is your relationship with your spouse? God has designed your marriage to include physical intimacy. It is a vital part of your marriage but is not the only thing. Remember that marriage was designed for companionship, help, and intimacy. And when all three are involved, your marriage will do better. When you realize that these are part of God’s design, it will help you to accomplish what God has intended for your marriage.
Conclusion
Why does marriage exist? God designed it to provide companionship, help, completion, and intimacy. Knowing this is helpful for those who are seeking a spouse because it will prepare them for a realistic perception of what the future can hold for them. It is also helpful for those who are married as it will help them focus on what God intended for marriage. It is also helpful for those who were once married as they can thank God for what they once had. No matter your situation, know that God has always wanted what is best for you. And when you realize what He has provided in marriage, it will help you to be thankful for all He has provided.
Bibliography
Kidner, Derek, Genesis, Downers Grove: Inter-Varsity Press, 1967.
Morris, Henry M., The Genesis Record, Grand Rapids: Baker, 1991, orig. 1976.
Poole, Matthew, A Commentary on the Holy Bible, Volume, Genesis-Job, Carlisle: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1979, orig. 1685.
Ross, Allen P., “Genesis” in The Bible Knowledge Commentary Old Testament, USA: SP Publications, 1989.